Do you see that handsome devil? He has lost two teeth in the last few weeks. Which means I have had to play the role of the tooth fairy twice. I am literally the worse tooth fairy in the history of tooth fairies. Today’s unfortunate series of events will prove just that . . .
First, let me give you some background on how terrible I am at this tooth fairy job. The first time my oldest lost her tooth we were on vacation in Idaho and staying in a hotel. She lost it in the morning and by the time we hit the pillows that night I had completely forgotten that there was a tooth waiting under a pillow until the next morning when luckily I woke up before my daughter and was able to sneak the tooth out from under her and put a dollar in it’s place.
Fast forward a few years later and the countless number of teeth lost between my two oldest children and the countless mornings I have to tell my kids that the tooth fairy must have been behind schedule, because once again I forgot (thank you to all movies about mythical creatures like Santa Clause, Jack Frost, and the Tooth Fairy to make this story seem plausible). I keep thinking that one day I will be able to totally rock this whole tooth fairy job.
But alas it is has been to no avail and today I proved to be the absolute worse.
My 5 yr old lost his tooth yesterday and he immediately ran to put his tooth under his pillow. Last night as I was falling asleep I mentioned to my husband that we needed to make sure to put a dollar under the little man’s pillow then I promptly fell asleep with the lights on and a book in my hand.
Fast forward to this morning where I slowly wake up at 8 am and instantly remember that once again I forget to be the tooth fairy. I shook my husband awake and asked him if by chance he remembered to be the tooth fairy, which he did not. I wasn’t in panic mode yet, since it is summer and maybe just maybe the kids were still asleep.
I crept out of my room and there was my 5 yr old with the saddest look on his face, cuddling with his big sister who was comforting him by telling him that “sometimes the tooth fairy gets behind schedule . . . ” Oh dear.
Still, I wasn’t stressed because it’s not like this hasn’t happened before so I snuck a dollar out of my purse and pretended to go check for my self . . .
Do you see that little devil ^^^ apparently he was fake sleeping incredibly well on the top bunk and I mistakenly believed I was in the clear. I lifted the pillow and not only did I find a lonely tooth I also found a note that my oldest wrote saying,
“Dear Tooth Fairy you are late and missed our tooth”
Great, now I not only had to get rid of the tooth, I had to get rid of a note as well. I quickly folded the note and threw it on top of the closet then made my exit . . . all assuming the oldest was asleep.
You know what they say about assuming don’t you?
Next thing I know my oldest son runs out of his room and tells little man to go check under his pillow because “MOM put a dollar under it and put the tooth on top of the closet!”
The 5 yr old lost it . . . he has only lost two teeth and his dream of this amazing tooth fairy is being crushed by my inability to stay awake long enough to be the tooth fairy, and an older brother set on telling the truth!
I hurry into the room and am now in full on damage control mode.
I assure little man that I did not put the dollar under his pillow and that there were no teeth on top of the closet, then I ran my hand along the shelf to prove it, while big brother kept saying . . .
Yes, you did, I saw you! Hold me up so I can see for myself! (not going to happen)
I tell the big
mouth brother to come with me because I have a secret to tell him. I figure, he is 8 so he is old enough to know the truth.
I walked him into my room and asked him if he could keep a secret and this is the conversation that followed.
Me: Can you keep a secret?
J: nods head yes.
Me: I am the tooth fairy.
Immediately my husband who was laying in bed jumps up and says “Whoa! I need to be a part of this conversation!”
J: No you aren’t.
Me and Dad: Yes I am
J: No (said repeatedly ten to fifteen times while adamantly shaking his head and alligator tears on the brink of spilling out of his beautiful eyes)
Me: I promise you I am
J: I will bet you two dollars that you aren’t the tooth fairy
Me: O.K. hand over the two dollars because I am the tooth fairy.
J: Where are your wings?
Me: The tooth fairy is make believe, she doesn’t have wings because she doesn’t exist. I am the tooth fairy
J: Wait, so every night you deliver money to every kid who loses their teeth.
Me: No, I am only the tooth fairy in this house. Every parent is the tooth fairy.
J: No you aren’t. No they aren’t. There is a tooth fairy and you aren’t it.
Clearly he wasn’t buying it, no matter what I or my husband said so finally I just resorted to this . . .
Me: Fine, would you believe me if I told you I was her helper and this morning I was helping her out and that is why you saw me put the money under the pillow?
J: Yes, I will believe that!
Seriously, I am over the tooth fairy business and I have four kids who fully believe and are not interested in believing otherwise . . .
Please, tell me I am not the only bad tooth fairy out there?
Share your worse tooth fairy stories (or even just mythical creatures like Santa) in the comments!