It is Friday!! Woohoo! I love Fridays so much and because I love Friday’s I want to introduce you to my new favorite thing – FREE FRIDAY! Cliche I know, but what better way to kick off your weekend with a free printable? That means if you download it, then print it, you will now have an excuse to go shopping! Not shopping at just any store but a home decor store and you get to purchase a new gorgeous frame in order to display the gorgeous free print.
You’re welcome 🙂 haha!
As a bonus today I’m not just giving you 1 free print but 2 because I couldn’t choose which one I loved more!
In order to download this print you need to access my FREE resource library by clicking here
In all seriousness though I do want to talk for a minute about this quote . . .
“Comparison is the Thief of Joy”
I came across this quote the other morning in the MegBittonLive Facebook group for photographers the question was posed: What is your excuse? Meg then gave those brave enough to comment little nuggets of wisdom. One of the commenters said that they felt their work wasn’t good enough and Meg commented with this quote . . .
Those words at that moment rang so true to me that they stuck with me throughout the day.
Fast forward to that night after all of the kids were tucked into bed and my husband and I finally had time to talk without being interrupted 8 billion times (I’m not even exaggerating about that). My husband and I like to do a check in with each other on a regular basis to see where we are at in our relationship, how we are feeling and what we would like to see change. We went to counseling a few years ago and really learned the importance of having weekly or monthly check ins.
As we were talking we both realized that we were starting to feel more like roommates than lovers and while we both felt loved we didn’t feel that intimacy you feel as lovers. We began discussing the reasons that was happening and what changes we needed to make in order for us to both feel passionate towards each other. Throughout the discussion my husband kept talking about how hard it was for him because he works with a lot of guys that say pretty crappy things about their wives but they are having more intimacy than us, how those guys don’t have to work in order to get some if you know what I mean. I told him the simple solution to that was to stop talking about it with other guys if it put his head in a bad place! We don’t live with those couples, we don’t see what struggles they have, what they are doing right, every interaction they have with each other, all we know is how often they have couple time together, which is like saying you finished the edges of a puzzle. That’s great but you are missing the whole picture there.
I don’t share that with you because I wanted to throw my husband under the bus (I have his permission to share that). I share this with you because we have all fallen into the thinking trap of comparison. After the conversation I had with my hubby I knew I needed to design this print and share it with you to remind you to stop comparing where you are at with where another person is.
It’s a nice thought to stop comparing, but how do we?
We are all on our own journey that is uniquely ours. It is important to learn from the mistakes of others and be inspired by other’s success, but we can not allow another persons success to steal our joy!
The number one way to end the comparison cycle is to focus on what you have and not what you don’t have.
I live in a beautiful golf course community. Every day when I come into my neighborhood I just smile, I love how gorgeous it. My house is a good size and fits our family perfectly, but I am often unsatisfied with my home. I have several friends who live in a neighborhood that isn’t as beautiful as mine but their homes are twice the size of mine and their yards are massive and they have an added bonus of having a lot of kids that live in the neighborhood! When I go to their house I get a little house envy, and sometimes dream of being able to have a house that large and a yard their size. The more I focus on how gorgeous their homes and yards are the less I loved my home. Then two weeks ago when the pest control guy came over to spray for bugs he kept commenting on how beautiful my home was. He repeatedly told me how he loved the spacing and the way I decorated. That same week a new friend of my husband’s came over and he also went on and on about how nice our home was, how awesome our pool and yard was, how he was jealous of what we had. It stopped me in my tracks. I realized right then that I need to be more grateful for the home I have, because it is a nice home and it’s perfect for our family. I can still love the homes my friends have and be grateful for the home I have.
The second best way to end comparison is to recognize you don’t know the full story.
How easy is it to see an incredibly successful photographer like Meg Bitton or Sue Bryce and feel inadequate? How easy is it to see someone with a toned body and feel inadequate? How easy is it to see what looks like the perfect spouse or kids and not feel like you are failing miserably? It is way too easy. We live in a world where it is easy to only let people see your best sides. It isn’t cool to put your dirty laundry out there for the world to see. Which I am mostly o.k. with, but at the same time we miss the full picture.
We don’t see the hours and energy spent meal planning and working hard at the gym to get that toned body. We don’t feel the struggles they had to go through in order to get that flat stomach.
We don’t see the husband who walks in the door from work and ignores his family while he plays video games or watches hours of YouTube videos.
We don’t see the abuse that is so easily hidden.
We don’t see the addictions or sicknesses plaguing those we think have the perfect lives.
So when you start thinking that someone else has it so much better than you, or you aren’t good enough, or you deserve what others have – remind yourself that you are only seeing a few pieces of the puzzle and you don’t know their struggles because let me tell you a little secret . . .
Every single person living right now is fighting a battle within themselves or within their family.
When you start to feel like the comparison beast is stealing your joy – check your thoughts and check your reality. If you see someone you admire that has something you wish you had in your life, ask them how they achieved it. Learn from them, ask questions and apply the things they tell you to your own life.
Lastly, the best way to end the comparison trap is to recognize that you are just as capable as creating that life for yourself!
We live in a time where information is literally at our fingertips. There are countless blogs and articles and e-books that will literally tell you step by step how to create the life you want. The only challenge in finding joy in the life you have is overcoming yourself. Overcome the way you perceive your life and the life others have and you will be able to break the comparison trap, and find true joy in every aspect of your life – no matter what journey you are on.
Stop living a passive life. Stop comparing yourself to others. Embrace the journey that is uniquely yours. Find joy in the journey you are on.
And as a reminder download this free print & place it somewhere that you see every day to remind you that joy is not found in comparing yourself to others.
I’d love to hear any tips you have on getting out of the comparison trap or where you struggle!